Let’s list all of the ways our mommies are a little CRAAAZY:
1) They will take like 10 pictures of you in the EXACT same position ( and then whine when the camera on their phone is “full”…but they can’t delete ANYTHING).
2) Whenever you do something for the first time, they will SMILE like their face is falling off and/ or cry…..& it’s like…hey mommy, I’m just jumping in this jumper thing…the first time you put me in it. Whaddya’ expect?
3) They act like there’s an invisible cord sometimes & they can’t go more than ten feet away….puh-lease. (Let me sit in my bouncy chair & have my own existential moment for a few. Can’t a baby get a break?)
4) CAMERA…CAMERA IN MY FACE!! Oh wait, I already said that one.
5) Mommies are quite absentminded. It’s like “REALLY mommy?? You’re looking for your keys again. I just saw you put them in the fridge.”
6) They seem to care about how they look. Like they seem to think they need to use this little brush on their teeth…& put on real clothes instead of jammies. & stare at their fat in the mirror. “You always look great mommy; just tend to me. Now please.” Well, that’s what I would say if my mommy understood me.
7) They seem to think daddy can’t do anything without them there or checking it. I mean, who cares that my socks didn’t match and my shirt was on backwards this morning. Why do I always have to wear pants?? Mommies need to learn to keep it simple. 😉 (This might prompt another blog post: Things Mommies Could Learn From Daddies.)
So, that’s part one of “Ways the Mommies are Craaazy.” What did I miss???
-your resident baby blogger
(Photo taken from stockfreeimages.com; I haven’t captured my mommy in that manner. Yet. Let’s face it, that would involve prying the camera out of her cold hands.)
Hey Babies, all mommies seem to think they need to be in the kitchen today. Well, we’ve got news for them! There are naps to be soothed into; diapers to be changed; & attention to be given. To muah. That little piece of rounded silicone they like to silence you with? Don’t fall for it. It may seem interesting to sit & watch all the cooking excitement for a little while, but remember what…um, WHO…is most important here. YOU!
Don’t let your mommy make/buy you a TURKEY shirt & thinks that’s gonna make you all festive. Don’t listen to all the hoop-la that Thankgiving & Hannakuh only co-exist together every thousand years or something! We’re HERE; We can’t get any cuter; & there’s milk to be had.
So fill up that diaper a little extra today, puke on a few shirts, show off your new talents ( I developed quite a scream this month & *newsflash* they will look at you), & make this day a BABY DAY TO REMEMBER.
-Excerpt from Baby Secret Handbook
Note to Self: Must get better about hiding my emotion!
See babies, I’m a really touchy sleeper at home, but when we’re out & about I know how to take it easy! #babysecrethandbook #babyblogger
We always fight sleep with mom…don’t give it up! But if somebody else is holding you, take a nice little nap! -excerpt from #babysecrethandbook
Rule #4 from Baby Secret Handbook: Bowel movements are best made in a fresh, clean diaper…we’re talking like the-last-two-minutes-fresh. So wait until mom changes you to let it rip. Practice and repeat
(With practice, you can do this as soon as the last button is buttoned.)
Rule #3 from Baby Secret Handbook: Always get up earlier than mom…UNLESS you know she has to be somewhere…then & only then, you must sleep in…so that mom has to wake you up to get you ready to go. (This sends out waves of mommy guilt, a powerful tool. See appendix.)
This was the first rule that was “leaked” from the babysecrethandbook. More to come! (Shhhh. Don’t tell Mom!)